The Polar Express and the “Santa Paradox”

WARNING: This post contains spoilers for The Polar Express. Do not continue reading if you haven’t seen it.

Low Carb Brownie Cake Batter Ice Cream

I posted a brownie ice cream using caramel flavoring and my homemade brownie recipe about five years ago. Now that I have access to other ice cream flavorings and “off the shelf” low carb products, it’s time for a refresh. Alpha Freezz offers a Brownie Cake Batter ice cream flavoring and a company called “Eat Me Guilt Free” sells flourless chocolate brownies we can use as a mix-in. Their brownies are okay as a snack but work incredibly well in ice cream.

Low Carb “Mystery Cake” Ice Cream

I’ve experimented with a bunch of combinations of ice cream flavors and SmartCakes. I couldn’t think of something to pair with the Raspberry cake, so I picked the birthday cake flavoring and gave it a shot. WOW! They work together incredibly well. So well, that this combo earns it’s own post.

Low Carb “Peanut Butter Jelly Time!” Ice Cream

I knew I wanted to make something with this unique ice cream flavoring from Alpha Freezz. I made a batch with G Butter “Peanut Butter Cup” as a mix-in. It was difficult to find. It’s been out of stock from the company’s website for quite a while, and I think I know why... It’s not very good. I made another batch with sweetened peanut butter and it was MUCH better.

Low Carb Banana, Brown Sugar, and Rum Ice Cream

Kitty Travers runs La Grotta Ices, “a small, inventive ice cream company specializing in ice creams and sorbets made from fresh, ripe fruit and seasonal ingredients.” Her book of ice cream and sorbets doesn’t contain many recipes that lend themselves to a low carb conversion. In fact, I only found one. The original used ripe bananas, dark rum, and dulce de leche. All three of these main flavoring ingredients can be emulated practically calorie-free.

Low Carb “Silly Rabbit Cereal” Ice Cream

I’m always on the lookout for new sources of ice cream flavoring. I tried a bunch of samples from One on One Flavors and I’m sorry to say most of them aren’t worth mentioning...with a couple exceptions. Two of their cereal flavorings are REALLY good! This ice cream uses their “Fruity Flakes Flavored Liquid Concentrate,” which is designed to taste something like a certain multi-colored caveman-themed cereal that resembles tiny rocks. Quite recently, I received an order of keto cereal made by The Cereal School. The “Fruity” variant is reminiscent of another cereal featuring a “silly rabbit” on the box. I wasn’t crazy about this cereal as a cereal, oddly enough, but as a mix-in, it pairs incredibly well with this ice cream.

Low Carb Cinnamon Roll Ice Cream

Alpha Freezz sells an awesome Cinnamon Bun flavoring. How can we make it even better? Mix in Cinnamon Smartcakes!

Generic Goals and Practices are Dead. Long live the GGs and GPs!

CMMI 2.0 has dropped the generic goals and practices, or so I’ve heard. I understand why they were created in the first place: ensure the organization institutionalizes its processes. The biggest complaint people had about the generics is that they duplicate much of the process areas’ specific goals and practices.

Generic Practice	Process Area
GP 2.2 Plan the Process	PP
GP 2.3 Provide Resources	PP
GP 2.4 Assign Responsibility	PP
GP 2.5 Train People	OT
GP 2.6 Control Work Products	CM
GP 2.7 Identify and Involve Relevant Stakeholders	PP/PMC/IPM
GP 2.8 Monitor and Control the Process	PMC/MA
GP 2.9 Objectively Evaluate Adherence	PPQA
GP 2.10 Review Status with Higher Level Management	PMC
GP 3.1 Establish a Defined Process	IPM/OPD
GP 3.2 Collect Process Related Experiences	IPM/OPF/OPD

If you’re doing all the stuff identified in the SPs, you’re also probably hitting all the GPs, too.

Before the generics are officially discarded to the dustbin of history, I want to point out one way they can still help: process templates. A level 3 maturity organization should have a defined process for…well…defining their processes. A document that defines a process should be based on a template created by the organization. What questions should we be forcing the author documenting a new process to answer? The generics provide these questions.

Low Carb Birthday Cake Ice Cream

Whey protein “brownies” are a classic low carb treat. Mix whey protein and little water in a mug, stick it in the microwave for 30 seconds and poof... you are delivered a cupful of what is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike a brownie. The fine people at G Butter have come up with a premade raw mix that much more palatable than the do-it-yourself concoctions I’ve seen. You can eat it right out of the jar or dollop a spoonful on a plate and cook it. Either way, it’s fast, easy and delicious. One of their most popular flavors is Birthday Cake. I figured this would be a promising mix-in for a cake flavored ice cream...and it was!

Low Carb Hazelnut Liqueur Ice Cream

I’ve made quite a few boozy ice creams in the past, but with the exception of bourbon, the inclusion of liquor has been less than satisfactory. It creates an unbalance in the formula. I have to adjust for the lower freezing point by cutting back on the glycerine, which affects the texture and scoopability. The flavor is never as good as expected. Instead, I like to use flavor essences made by Liquor Quik. Their hazelnut liqueur essence is fantastic. I’m going to add dry roasted hazelnuts and top with a new product I found: Nekstella Sugar Free Chocolate Hazelnut Syrup.

Low Carb Chocolate Vodka

A low carb lifestyle doesn’t imply enduring life as a teetotaler. There are many spirits and beverages that have essentially zero carbs. It is also wise to avoid congeners in order to minimize the risks of a hangover. The optimal liquor found at the intersection of these two variables is vodka. It’s probably the clearest and purest form of alcohol to drink, but also quite boring to imbibe neat. Most vodka distillers offer flavored varieties but these products invariably have added sugars that we would obviously like to avoid. Fear not, for I have found a solution. Ah, I know what you’re thinking: we’ll just add our own flavorings with a bit of non-caloric sweeteners and call it a night. Oh, no. I’ve got something way better. Chocolate. Not chocolate flavoring or extract. Real chocolate. Now, I must warn you... This invention of mine is dangerous. I fear that this recipe may make vodka so delicious, I will regret the havoc it will cause.